Reconciliation

Learning from Survivors

The people who survived the arbritrary, brutal and barbaric attacks more than 20 years ago have rebuilt their lives, all be it after a very difficult journey. What can we learn from them about overcoming adversity? What does it really mean for them to reconcile with their perpetrators?


Louise

Louise, ABPRA Pilot Study participant

Reconciliation, in our language, to reconcile literally means to put together. So we say that you put together [in contact]. The things, which are separated or broken for example, you can treat the broken bone until it becomes one strong bone again and the arm can work normally. So you put together the scattered things so that they are gathered into one thing. To get healed means that if something has been separated/broken, they become one again. It means that it is healed. It becomes a single thing. If it is separated, it is cut into two parts. But when it becomes one, then it is healed.Louise


Lawurencia

Lawurencia, ABPRA Pilot Study participant

Reconciliation is when someone who offended you comes to you and tells you that he wants you to get reconciled. It means that he wants to reconcile and live together with you. Then you get reconciled and forget all that happened. For me, that is how it is. To get reconciled with someone is to get reconciled when he begs you a pardon and you move from that bad thing to good things. That is how I understand it.Lawurencia


Lawurencia

Lawurencia, ABPRA Pilot Study participant

The reconciliation is to forgive someone who offended you but who realize how much the offence was bad to you and come to confess for it and ensures you that s/he will never do it again. After s/he comes to tell you that it is necessary for you both to remove all the barriers that separated you and renew the true love that leads to the development different from the unserious one. Reconciliation is good and as far as I am concerned, I wish everyone who has a conflict with someone to try to solve it so that there would be reconciliation between them. Because it is helpful.Lawurencia


Learning from Ex-Prisoners

The people who once murdered other human being serviced their terms in prison, and returned to their home village. They are now sharing the very land they had once destroyed with people whom they once attempted murdering. What does it really mean to reconcile with their surviving victims? How could they come to terms with their guilt, remorse, and shame? Reconciliation in their view teach us the answers.

Mathabaro

Mathabaro, ABPRA Pilot Study participant

Reconciliation is to approach the one you harmed and apologize for your sin. You reconcile with him/her and she/he forgives you. In those conditions you reconcile and that how reconciliation is according to me.Mathabaro


Thasiani

Thasiani, ABPRA Pilot Study participant

The word reconciliation, if we take an example of a body like a leg which was hurt and then treated after and becomes better. That is like a reconciliation. It comes in the human wounded heart and it heals it, as we have been reconciled. It means that if a heart was wounded and then you approach that person whose heart was wounded because of you. And you talk to her, you get reconciled. But if you don’t talk to her, there is no unity between you. Talking to her and helping her to do her work.Thasiani


Fredelic

Fredelic, ABPRA Pilot Study participant

It means that I offended you, we have been reconciled. And in reconciliation there included forgiveness and reconciling because of that offense. It means that you forgive me first and then after the friends come in. We sit together like we do now as a family and they say let us help you to get reconciled. For that, it may be possible that I get punished and then after we buy a drink and we share it and that’s how we get reconciled. What I can add is that real forgiveness or real reconciliation is implemented through the actions. It means that if you have been reconciled with someone and ended there on the chair where you got reconciled. If you don’t visit him/her after and help him/her to do a work s/he had which may be difficult for her/him, and if s/he calls others to come for a help while you are absent in that work, there is no reconciliation there.Fredelic